Friday, 12 July 2013

Triangles, Gran's food, Multi-buys and the greatest battle in the galaxy...




Why is it that sandwiches cut into triangles always taste better? Don't even try to disagree with me here, you all know that I speak the truth. Even if you've made them yourself, with the same ingredients, as soon as you pull that knife (careful, watch fingers) through that bread and it's contents from corner to corner, you know instantly that it's going to taste so much better than a standard cut sarnie. For some bizarre reason, they also seem bigger too. Perhaps it's why pre-packed sandwiches are cut into triangles; they manufacturer knows that the majority of customers are going to dislike them, so they cut them this way to at least have a chance! Can you imagine what a pre-packed service station sandwich would taste like if it was standard cut?
     Let's say that we've made our triangular sandwich for a packed lunch. to go with it we'll have some crisps, in our house usually from a multi-pack. I've often wondered why multi-pack food carries the warning "Not to be sold separately." Surely a cost-related statement, but has any shop dared to try and sell one of these items? Has anyone dared to tempt the wrath of...what exactly? Perhaps a black van will pull up outside the outlet and a group of large enforcers dressed in black will jump out, seize the miscreant, and of course the offending article will be destroyed by some more enormous squares of men. All this goes on while a few "suits" create a perimeter while peering through sunglasses and holding a finger to an ear as if glued in.
     Another entry in the "Food tastes better if" section is the one concerning the fact that if the food, again the same as you'd have at home, is cooked by your Gran, it tastes out of this world. I can see many of you nodding your heads already; you know what I mean. Sausages, Battered fish, name it. It doesn't matter what the meal is, it always tastes better when Gran makes it. I think that when Grandparents become Grandparents they receive a bag of powder, which when added to a meal (to be eaten by Grandchildren), gives it that extra something that many of us have tasted. Coincidentally, the powder is usually attached to a note stating that "As Grandparents there's every chance you'll be asked to babysit now-sorry!"
     I know that due to severe allergic reactions, food has to state information regarding it's associated production with nuts. However, it seems to me that soon there may be no end to this relationship. In that I mean that labelling may soon read: "Contains no nuts. Factory is not associated with nuts. Not transported with nuts.THERE ARE NO NUTS HERE! The fella who packaged the food can't stand nuts. Not even the lads magazine Nuts.Hold on, no sorry, Geoff in accounts likes nuts, so who knows!" I know it's all legal and safety measures but sometimes I just don't know. having said that, I did see a bar of peanut brittle which did say on the back "May contain nuts." May? Hello?
     Moving away from food now, in my long-overdue blog update, something caught my eye not long ago concerning two of my interests; Star Wars and Doctor Who. The Norwich Star Wars club met their match during the fourth Norwich film and sci-fi convention at the University of East Anglia in May. A rival group, the Norwich Sci-Fi Club turned up (not in Tardises, Tardis'..whatever)and started to use prise a way through to Doctor Who stars at the event. Now the Imperial forces of the Star Wars club weren't happy about this and, according to a Doctor Who fan dressed as the fifth Doctor Peter Davidson, began verbal abuse! I can hear them now, shouting at him in muffled tones due to the stormtrooper masks, "You scruffy-looking nerf herder! Your house is a wretched hive of scum and villainy!" Perhaps even "Your mum is more machine than woman;twisted and evil!" Then again, I'm sure it was fairly good natured and anyway, the Doctor would just travel back in time and well, you know the rest.

P.S. Imagine if Gran made a triangular sandwich...wow.